Seven

I had a sleepover at Tira's and it was pretty fun. Though we slept quite early last night. So, I just got back from wangsa walk. Bumped into my friend Izzham at the taxi stand while waiting for my mom to pick me, Rozi and Jordi up. Lol, he made our conversation awkward. He told me not to make it awkward but it turned out, well, pretty awkward. Haha.

I was totally fine until my cat bit me. It hurt so bad and I think it kinda made my heart ache too. I know that doesn't make sense. But, whatever. I became emotional out of sudden. Maybe I kept too much feelings and was ready to let it all out. I cried and felt so pathetic. Maybe. Maybe all I ever wanted was to hangout with you, talk to you and not feel awkward. Maybe, I just need you to notice me. And maybe, I just need you to tell the truth. Gosh, I still feel miserable as fuck.

I'm having eating disorder again. Appetite, gone. Since yesterday. This is so unhealthy. But I kinda want to lose weight right now so yeah. Whatever. Haih. I wish I could turn back time. Feeling shitty sucks, feeling not good enough sucks, feeling weak sucks. Being me sucks, too. Ugh. Life is so depressing. Why, God. Why.
Lets say if I die tomorrow. Would anybody go to my funeral? Would they even notice I'm already agone? Sigh. Maybe people would appreciate me more when I'm gone.

I need someone to hug. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to hold me in their arms. I need someone that can calm me down. I need someone that can make me smile even when I'm in a very bad mood. I need someone that can wash away all the pain. Mentally and physically. Okay, Let's make it simple, I just need you.